I'm Going to Marry You, Plan Your Life Accordingly
by Siriusly Lovely
Summary: What happens after the hospital wing confrontation between Tonks and Remus after Dumbledore dies? How did they get their start? Well I'll tell you...


_"But I don't care either, I don't care!" said Tonks, seizing the front of Lupins' robes and shaking them. "I've told you a million times…"_

_"And I've told you a million times" said Lupin, refusing to meet her eyes, staring at the floor, "that I am too old for you, too poor…too dangerous…."_

His words kept ringing in her head as she sat on her bed in the Hogs Head, hands covering her face. Tears were seeping between her fingers which were closed over her eyes and she was sniffling loudly, every so often letting out a strangled sob. Several times Aberforth had come to the door and knocked to make sure she was alright and ask her if she wouldn't come down and sit with him for a brandy. She had politely refused every time, stifling sobs as she let her weakened voice carry out through the doorway.

How, after everything they had been through together, could Remus still refuse to acknowledge what was between them. When Sirius had died it had taken her minutes to realize what had happened. She had assumed that Bella's curse had simply missed her. Of course the screams had registered in her brain when Harry ran after her but she had been distracted, immediately being pulled into another battle. Only after she had subdued her other attacker had she looked around and saw Remus on his knees, one hand resting on the side of the archway. A scream had left her at that point, one which she could not testify to being able to hear. The world had slipped away and from that point on she couldn't tell you what had happened once the aurors had arrived and once they had returned hom.

The next morning she had woken up on the couch in Grimmauld Place, feeling quite out of place. He had been the first thing she'd seen, weary eyes resting on her as though awaiting her ascent into conciousness. That was when she had first sensed it, this thing that was between then, that she had up until then attributed to their strong bond as fellow Order Memebers. But no, it was something more, and suddenly she wanted him to hold her and comfort her, and she wanted to do the same thing for him. Before she'd had the chance however, as though sensing her intentions, Remus had muttered something about a spot of tea and ran off to the kitchen.

During the next few months Tonks had taken it upon herself to be around him as much as possible, accidentally bumping into him and not so accidentally bumping into him, keeping posted on his assignments, sitting near him during meals. And then he had been sent to the werewolves. The night before he left she'd come to his room and told him how she felt, that she wanted him to have something to remember her by. His silence she had decided was an acceptance of what she was saying, but when she sat next to him on his bed and tried to kiss him he stood up and walked, without a word, out of the room, leaving her sitting there alone, confused.

Here she was again, alone and confused, crying on a bed by herself. He was probably off somewhere seeing to the preparations for Dumbledore's funeral, or perhaps sitting in the Hospital Wing still with Bill. One thing was certain, he wasn't feeling the way she was. He never felt the way she did, which he had made quite clear time and time again when he came home for a night and told her he was too tired for her, too worn for her, she deserved someone who could keep up with her. Heart break had been a term Nymphadora hadn't known that well up until now. Her heart had literally broken when he got frustrated and snapped at her one night, telling her they could never be together, not ever. She'd cried herself to sleep that night as well, and many nights since then.

Just then she heard the creak of the floorboard outside. Opening her mouth to yell to Aberforth to leave her alone she felt defeated when all that came out this time was a little sob, barely audible. She would just refuse to answer this time, that's what she would do, no point responding really. After all, Aberforth wasn't her keeper, she wasn't a child. No doubt spying on her, listening intently to hear her crying to herself, whoever was standing outside her door (it never occurred to her it would be anyone but Aberforth) was having trouble deciding what to do with their location. And then suddenly the door burst open and there he was.

Apparently it must have began to rain after she'd arrived at the bar about three quarters of an hour earlier. That made sense of course, one of the greatest tragedies in the wizarding world had just occurred in the death of Albus Dumbledore. When the Muggle's Christ had died there had been earthquakes and lightening, Albus Dumbledore at least deserved rain. But Albus Dumbledore wasn't standing in her room soaking wet, and neither was Christ. Standing in her doorway, dripping water onto the floorboards was none other than Remus John Lupin, the man she'd been in love with for almost a year now. He looked just as confused as she felt, staring down at her tear streaked face

Apparently there'd been no time for him to perform the drying spell on himself after he entered the building, or else he had temporarily the incantation. Tonks briefly considered doing the spell for him but did not for one because she wasn't sure she trusted herself to speak just now and then because she couldn't help but let her eyes dwell on the places his wet shirt were now sticking to his flesh. Straightening herself up a bit, Tonks attempted to stop her sobbing to look at him but as soon as she met his brown eyes she choked one down again. This seemed to set him off. Throwing up his hands in a threatening gesture that made her jump back wards on the bed, further away from him he took a step towards her.

"You cannot keep doing this to me, Nymphadora." Upon the use of her given name Tonks went to yell at him, finally feeling her blood boil but as soon as he saw her mouth open he cut her off. "No, you don't get you yell at me. I'm going to call you your birth name because you are acting like a child. I am old enough to be your father. I was alive and running around with the Maradaurs when you were just being born. It is unethical, not to say completely foolish to think we could ever be in any sort of relationship other than the one we've had for the last few years in the Order". Pausing for a moment, Remus was radiating anger. But he had struck a nerve in her, making her abandon her weepy mindset. Jumping up on the bed so that she was now kneeling on both knees and lifting herself up to be level with him she mimicked his frustrated arm gesture, resolved that if he wanted to fight they could fight. There was nothing else to be done about it.

"Remus, you are a stick in the mud old man. Yes you are old. And I've seen you look at me with the love of a father and I've seen you look at me with the desire that I know runs through your veins the same it runs through mine. It's ridiculus reasons you give me. Yes, you're older than I am, far more mature, far more skilled, better than me at everything you've ever done. But you're just a scared little boy on the inside, scared to let yourself be hurt by someone who can't accept you for who you are." He eyes were wells of tears again. So much for not crying. Dropping her hands she shook her head at him. "What you don't know is I already accept you more than anyone else. What you don't know is that after you would take your Wolfsbane potion and fall asleep I would come and sit with you throughout the night until just before moon fall."

She lifted a hand to silence him when he started to protest. "Yes, I know you would never have allowed me to but I did, no one knew. You were so peaceful, lying there, curled up on your cushion on the top of the table, almost like you were home in a way. Bloody Hell Remus why can't you just accept the fact that life isn't easy, and it can be ripped away from us before our time. Think of Sirius!"

This seemed to bring Remus' voice back to him. He grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a hard shake, quieting her fast. "You think I don't think of Sirius? I think of Sirius every day. I think of him when I look at you, I think of him when I wake up in the morning. Sirius was the last of a group of friends who kept me from going insane while at school and growing up as a boy wolf. You just don't get it, Tonks, you don't. You don't know what being with me would rob you of. And you just keep pushing, and you're driving me mad. Just stop pushing, Tonks, stop pushing me!"

She shook her head furiously, throwing his hands from her shoulders and moving so she was standing. She was half a head shorter than her but her eyes glared up at him, sparkling with tears unshed. "I'm not going to stop Remus, I can't, I won't, you can't make me! I lov-"

"Shutup." And then he was kissing her. The world had ended, Albus Dumbledore was dead, the Dark Lord was hunting for Harry Potter, Severus Snape had betrayed the order, Bill Weasley had been attacked by Fenrir Greyback, Aberforth was locking up his bar for the night, and Remus John Lupin was finally kissing Nymphadora. It was though a bunch of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes fireworks were going off in her head, causing her to lose all thought, all sense of being. She could feel her knees melting under her weight as his hands landed on the sides of her head and he plunged his lips into hers. It was everything she'd dreamed it would be and more.

But as soon as it had happened it was gone. Remus pulled back after what seemed like an eternity but was in reality only a second or two. Staring at her for a moment, quite disturbed, as though he couldn't believe what he'd just done, Remus turned abruptly and ran out of the door, slamming it behind him. She could hear his footsteps hurriedly on the staircase and a hasty goodbye to Aberforth and then the distinct pop of him apparating as soon as his feet hit the pavement outside. Falling back to sit on the bed Tonks lifted her fingers to touch her pink lips where only a minute earlier his had been touching. Closing her eyes, a stray tear finally pushed its way out, falling down her flushed cheeks. But a smile was forming on her face and slowly she opened her eyes. Laughing to no one, merely staring at the bare brown wood wall in front of her, she spoke in a meek but elated voice. "I'm going to marry him." With those words Tonks leaned back, curling up in her bed and drifting to sleep with a smile still on her face.


End file.
